while i listened to Third Circle yesterday,
one song hit me right where i am. i must have left the song on repeat eight times. and though the lyrics ring out promise and the music is jubilant and light, i wept. and wept. every time it played, i wept.
there is plenty to mourn in this earthen existence, and a few of my past and present sorrows surfaced while the song washed through me. but it was the Answer to those sadnesses that made me cry so profusely. consider the verse:
Lord, I cried out, I cried out to You
You answered me in Your mercy
Your anger was fleeting
And now I will dance in your favor all my life
my heart has been nurtured in the fold of God's people for more than three decades, yet it took a long time before i began to understand this standing that i have, this favor. it's an unending favor before God only because of the sacrificial love of Jesus. only Jesus. when we are faced with pain or grief and our crying out becomes our (sometimes last) attempt at relief, he answers. in mercy, he answers. the circumstances may not change, he may not remove the pain, but his presence becomes unmistakable.
the longer i live, choosing to believe in God's delight over me, the more times i find i'm able to dance through troubles and to sing despite my affliction. hear me. i do not pretend all is hunky-dory, put on a mask of happiness and stuff my truest feelings away in a cold corner of my soul. no, no, please no. i am learning to cry out. i am learning to accept that my brokenness, my failures, my hurts and my questions are no less important to my Father as my devotion, my triumphs and my personal growth.
this is how God turns our weeping into dancing - not by literally sweeping away the "bad" and promising nothing of sin or destruction will ever infect our lives again. instead, he declares with promises never-ending, that all that he is is ours. all of him. we are chosen sons and daughters, from whom he will withhold no good thing! what better position for experiencing joy than in sad times? what better way to find life but in the face of death? what better chance does light have to shine than in the darkest of all places? what other way can healing be possible than when there is a wound?
the flood of tears from my eyes was at once both a declaration of hurt, frustration and regret and a song of utter gratitude. what joy it is to be free to release all of it to the skies! i live every moment, in the fair and in the unfavorable, under a shower of Mercy and Love.
Let my heart sing for you
And not remain silent
Let my heart sing for you
Turn my weeping into a dance
So dance, dance my soul
There's no reason for you to weep
So dance, dance my soul,
Make music to your King
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"Dance, Dance" by Kate Hurley, Michelle Patterson. Registered with CCLI.
